when you masturbate twice on the same day
When you finger yourself while masturbating
when you try to suck your dick and you break your ribs
So I can’t do my math homework cause my duck fell asleep on my calculator..
send this picture to your teacher they will understand
Texting with my friends has just devolved into sending memes to each other during class.
here’s a tip
if someone says they don’t drink, they don’t fucking drink
when you hate your life and you want to hate it even more:
his life was totally in danger.
True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.